Language
English is the main language, but a dialect heavy in slang and idiosyncratic phrases (in the rural south especially) can make for amusingly challenging communication. It is rattled out like gunfire and the only pauses for breath are taken just before the storyteller passes out.

My first Trinidadian social evening was a “boys” lime at a friend’s house and I spent the evening in total bemusement. A dozen guys were parked round a table eating curried duck, drinking beer, playing All Fours (cards) and intermittently laughing uproariously. One man after another would issue a cascade of indeterminable jabbering accompanied by flamboyant hand gestures ending in what must have been a punchline and the table would erupt. I sat dumbstruck, grinning inanely like a perplexed Tony Blair.

‘Hey, wha happen, yuh don’t like meh jokes?’ said my neighbour, poking me in the ribs. My reply – “I don’t understand a word you’re saying” – caused as much amusement as the previous gag.

History & Demographics 
‘Melting-pot’ is an overworked term but there is no better description of Trinidadian society. Trinidad & Tobago was under foreign influence from its ‘discovery’ by Christopher Columbus in 1498 until its independence from British rule in 1962. Shaped by this colonial past, the largest population sectors, approximately 43% each, come from those of African and Indian descent who historically worked the sugar, cocoa and coffee plantations.

Additionally, there are significant populations of Chinese, Syrians, Portuguese, Venezuelans, Americans, British and other Europeans, as well as descendants of the original Amerindian inhabitants.

Perhaps because of this long-established diversity, Trinidadians are refreshingly un-PC on matters of race and religion. You simply are what you are, be it white, black, brown or whatever. If you are Chinese you’re automatically nicknamed “Chinee Boy”, if Rastafarian, you’re “Ras”; if you have mixed African and Indian parentage you’re a “Dougla”.

Good news for women of more ample proportions as well – forget that latest fad diet, Trini men are partial to “meat on de bone”.

I was behind a customer ordering KFC recently and as he leaned lasciviously over the counter, with the spirit of Barry White coursing through his veins, I heard him growl his order at the voluminously-dimensioned waitress. “Eh, gimme a nice big bit ah thigh, jus’ like yours.”

Instead of larruping him across the face with a sexual harassment suit the girl simply giggled demurely, or as demurely as a 127kg girl can giggle, and tottered off to select the Colonel’s finest for the man with the silver tongue.

Economy
Trinidad is unique amongst Caribbean nations in that its fabulous oil and natural gas riches (it is the USA’s largest single natural gas supplier) have led to large-scale, and ongoing, industrialisation. The fossil fuel industry’s tremendous wealth generation has stimulated many other economic and governmental sectors to such a degree that Trinidad is pushing for developed nation status by 2020.

With expanding conference facilities and hotel capacity (newly-established are the Hyatt Regency, Cara Suites, Trincity Holiday Inn Express and Carlton Savannah) Trinidad is positioning itself to become the regional business hub. In many ways it already is. Located perfectly, geographically, between South America and the rest of the Caribbean, with gateways to the US and Europe, and a sound financial infrastructure and governance, Trinidad & Tobago is an increasingly attractive proposition to foreign investors.

This economic vigour also means tourism is not as important, and consequently not as openly feted, in Trinidad as in the rest of the Caribbean; leaving the visitor with an agreeably honest and untainted view of the nation.

Carnival
If the economy is the driving force of Trinidad, Carnival is its essence. Carnival was brought to Trinidad in the late 18th century by French planters, but since then has become unmistakably Trinidadian. The Trini model has spawned a host of imitations globally, including London’s Notting Hill Carnival.

Many Trinis live for Carnival, enduring the rest of the year merely as a prelude to the party season. 

Boxing Day brings an abrupt end to Christmas and an abrupt start to Carnival build-up. It also brings an explosion in gym memberships, but this is not about post-Christmas guilt, it’s all about looking good ‘jumping up’ on Carnival Monday and Tuesday.

The volume of joggers, daily circling Port of Spain’s vast Queens Park Savannah, increases in direct proportion to the proximity of Carnival. Not that their efforts are always taken seriously.

A well-endowed young woman in tight sports top had slowed to a walk just as a van full of workmen crawled past in Friday afternoon traffic. Falling out of the window, the driver called despairingly: “Oh Looorrrrrrrd, run for meh gyal, run for meh!!!!”

The pre-Carnival period is characterised by a proliferation of fetes (parties) with the best of Trinidad’s musical talent displayed across its divergent range of styles.

Whether your preference is for Machel Montano leaping around wildly or the extraordinary, and frankly inspiring, experience that is Denise ‘Saucy Wow’ Belfon and her ‘Bicycle Wine’, there is something to suit everybody’s tastes.

‘Wining’ – described by Cote ci, Cote la Trinidad and Tobago Dictionary, as the ability to ‘rotate the waist and hips in a suggestive manner’ – and how proficient you are at it – is a matter of significant pride.

Trinidadians begin wining in the womb; either that or they’re born with a ball and socket joint where their coccyx should be. Whichever, the women especially, standing straight-backed and legs apart, display an incredible ability to rotate and bounce their glutes with whirring pace and rhythm. It’s mesmerising; like watching a washing machine on fast-spin cycle.

Nightlife
Trinis love to party all year round and equally, they love to know that a guest is having a good time. Visitors should be wary of the ‘one-more’ syndrome though: I’ve lost count of the times I’ve said my goodbyes, anticipating the end of an evening, only to turn around and find another Carib beer waiting expectantly.

Socially, Port of Spain is the place to be and the number and range of bars, clubs and nightspots is extraordinary, and growing.

Ariapita Avenue is a hotspot, with favoured locations including the friendly open-air ambience of Shakers (Tuesday’s place-to-be); the recently-opened Satchmo’s Jazz Restaurant & Lounge; and, another 2007 addition, the Coco Lounge, has a well-attended Thursday ‘Miami Night’ (featuring Latin dance/music).

Elsewhere, More Vino (O’Connor Street), is popular with Friday after-work limers; whilst Trotters Sports Bar, (Maraval Road), Aura (Cipriani Boulevard), and the mercifully-authentic, English-themed, Bat and Ball pub (Queens Park Oval) enjoy reliable crowds throughout the weekend.

For Trinidad nightlife in the raw, though, visit the famed Smokey and Bunty’s, in St James. St James by night is a bustlingly eclectic scene; there’s dancing in the roads, bottle and spoon playing, street artists erecting bottle towers alongside corn soup vendors, music erupting from every bar and car. The epicentre is often Smokey and Bunty’s and there you will find ‘characters’.

I spent an hour one night in swaying conversation with a glassy-eyed Trinidadian in dishevelled clothing purporting to be a scientist conducting research on the Arctic Wolf. He was disconcertingly lucid on the subject.

Of the nightclubs, Zen’s RAH Wednesdays (Reggae, Alternative, Hip Hop) are a great way to start the weekend run-in, followed by Thursdays at 51 Degrees which includes karaoke from 10-12 before soca/reggae/party music.

In the South, San Fernando’s newly-established Prive is enjoying a growing reputation. This split-level club has an open chill-out area downstairs which is great for taking a breather. 

For regular dance and theatre shows (bawdy local productions offer an insight into the Trini sense of humour) visit The Little Carib, Queen’s Hall and Central Bank Auditorium.

Weather
Trinidad’s weather is remarkably predictable. From January-to-June (Dry Season) local weathermen can display a chart saying ‘31-33 Celsius, no chance of rain’ and, from July-to-December (Wet Season), flip this with ‘31-33 Celsius, humid, heavy showers likely’.

Remarkably though, the nightly news programmes still take ‘two looks’ at the weather, presumably to avoid being blindsided by that once-a-century weather system occurring during show-time.

Time
A Trini is never on time. The sooner you accept this immutable law, the better for your mental health. The evening before my first fishing trip, a 5am pick-up had been arranged. A bit excitable, I woke early and was sitting on the end of my bed at 4.45am, slurping tea, tapping feet, and receiving periodic abuse from a wife for whom ‘5am’ and ‘Saturday morning’ didn’t belong in the same sentence. Over an hour later my lift arrived, all beaming smiles.

“Yuh does know dat when ah Trini say he gonna be dere for 5am, he will reach for 6am?” There was no hint of apology; it was a statement of fact and one which surely everyone knew already. I did now.

Food and Shopping
Trinidadians are religious people, but the real Sunday devotional is a trip to the Doubles Stand. It’s not for the faint-hearted though, with biblical scenes of crowds clamouring for sustenance.

Doubles – curried chickpeas served between two pieces of soft, fried bara – is accompanied with ‘slight, medium or plenty pepper’ and assorted chutneys. Those serving, normally women, do so at an incredible pace, flicking Bara, slopping curry, dashing pepper and chutney and wrapping in one blurred motion of wrists and fingers.

The queuing system is chaotic but not wholly without order, as I witnessed one Sunday. I was hovering three rows back, looking for a gap, when a Mitsubishi Lancer driver screeched to a halt, jumped out, ran up, leaned over and began barking his order.

“Yeah, gimme four wid plenty pepper there nah!” His initial shouts were lost in the hubbub and he became rapidly impatient, raising the volume several notches and finally bellowing his demand.

The Doubles vendor slowly looked up with doleful eyes and said, “De vagrant here first”, gesturing to a grubbily-whiskered man in a tattered shirt now puffing up his chest.

Boasting such a cosmopolitan culture means virtually every international cuisine is represented; from Chinese to Japanese, Indian to Thai, French to Italian.

Most bars and nightspots double up with food but if you’re looking for great places to dine why not try local chef extraordinaire Khalid Mohammed’s Chaud (Queen’s Park Savannah); Jaffa at the Queens Park Oval; Battimamzelle (Coblentz Avenue); Melange (Ariapita Avenue); or, for Caribbean cuisine in a home-cooked style and in an intimate atmosphere, the Veranda (Rust Street) is hard to beat.

For breakfast, the Hyatt Regency Hotel is recommended, and, for afternoon tea, The Hilton. Lunch is significantly cheaper than dinner in almost any restaurant.

Traditional shopping strips such as Port of Spain’s Frederick Street, main street Chaguanas and San Fernando High Street, whilst still offering a wide range of shopping opportunities, are fast being usurped by the Shopping Mall culture which has spread across the country in recent years. Popular malls include West Mall and Long Circular Mall (Port of Spain), Trincity (in East Trinidad), Gulf City (San Fernando) and Grand Bazaar (Mt Hope). Additionally, there are now increasingly popular travelling Indian trade shows which offer cut price goods.

Beaches
Trinidad’s most popular beach, Maracas, is the cosmopolitan beach, displaying the nation’s every race, colour and creed cheek-by-jowl; particularly on holiday weekends, when the acrid smell of burning brakes descending into this sandy haven hangs heavy on the air.

On its golden stretches, lithe-limbed youths play football; middle-aged men heave coolers into position, and their guts into respectability as beach goddesses pass; Muslim women in top-to-toe Hijabs wear snorkelling masks as they dabble in the shallows; posers with their salon-hair-and-nails girlfriends strut by; and families beneath shady coconut trees tuck into huge cook-ups, dispensing plastic plates and cups like confetti; as music thumps in the background.

Don’t leave Maracas without trying Richard’s Shark’n’Bake; it’s an institution in itself.

The crowds decline the further along the coast you travel. Las Cuevas and Tyrico Bay have their devotees but it is Blanchisseuse where you’re most likely to enjoy the magnificent solitude of a Caribbean beach to yourself.

On the east coast, Mayaro and Manzanilla are long, wild and windswept expanses of sand and battering waves, with a rawness which appeals to many. The Manzanilla coastal stretch, characterised by huge swathes of towering coconut forest, is worth the drive for the scenery alone.

Sports
The most popular sports are football (the national team, the Soca Warriors, played in their first World Cup in Germany in 2006) and cricket.

Don’t miss a day at the cricket. Relax beneath clear Caribbean skies (at Guaracara Park or the Queens Park Oval), have ice cold beer brought to you in a bucket, watch the nuts sellers arc unerringly accurate bags of cashews into the stands and enjoy their interaction (picong) with the crowd: “To all my international customers, I am delighted to announce we now accept US dollars, pound sterling and all major credit cards. Please form an orderly line”.

The players are not spared the chat either, as I discovered when a boundary fielder failed to dive for a ball which passed him. “What de arse, like yuh mama say she not gonna wash yuh trousers!”

Touring and Exploring
Trinidad’s 50 by 30 miles are as diverse as its culture, and its ecosystems are some of the Caribbean’s richest. Because of its location, Trinidad enjoys a unique and considerable blend of South American and Caribbean flora and fauna (there are over 470 bird species alone) which draw visitors from across the world.

Watch the country’s national bird, the vibrantly-plumaged Scarlet ibis, fly into roost in its thousands at Caroni Swamp; listen to booming howler monkeys, see anaconda and search for the elusive manatee in Nariva Swamp’s vast marshlands; discover the mysterious oilbird at the Asa Wright Nature Centre; take a dip in La Brea’s Pitch Lake; and observe giant leatherback turtles nesting at Matura and Grande Riviere.

Hiking is a great way of seeing the country and is popular in the Northern Range, particularly in areas such as Brasso Seco and El Tucuche. Be sure to hire a guide though as local knowledge is essential.

Alternatively, gaze up at stunning rainforest-cloaked mountains and listen to the chattering of orange-winged parrots above as you cycle through towering bamboo cathedrals in the nation’s only national park, Chaguaramas.

Otherwise, rent a car and explore the nation’s highways and byways with map in hand. Be careful if you’re driving though, you’re more likely to be raising your hands to cover your eyes than in acknowledgement of a fellow driver’s courtesy. Maxi Taxis (public service minibuses) are the most flagrant offenders, taking a laissez-faire approach to road regulation. Watch as the drivers – who rejoice beneath monikers like ‘Temptation’, ‘Pretty Boy’ and, more worryingly, ‘Stalker’ – hurtle along sorting their cash whilst controlling the steering wheel with their elbows; blanch at the thumping volume of the ‘tunes’; and wince in expectation of imminent impact as they veer across three lanes to pick up a late-hailing Tanty.

Conclusion
Trinidad is truly an experience unlike any other. Trinidadians have been blessed with a beautiful country and are some of the friendliest, most down-to-earth people you are ever likely to meet. When you mix this with a natural flamboyance and joie de vivre you have the recipe for a dedicatedly fun-loving culture. It’s loud, it’s colourful and it’s vibrant: one thing it is not is dull.